A small question interrupting the series on narcissism. What do I need to put on my door or my lawn to signal that I have candy for trick-or-treaters? Is the ghost on my door enough? Or do I need pumpkins? Where should I place them?
I know I keep doing something wrong because I never get any visits from trick-or-treaters. Americans, help!
Clarissa's Blog 
Any decorations are usually a signal that you have candy, though the more elaborate the display, the better.
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Having the lights on–outside and inside–helps. Kids don’t usually go to houses with no lights whatsoever. As for decorations, I’ve seen houses loaded with them and houses with no decorations. Sometimes people put things out on their porch–pumpkins, scarecrows, etc, but it’s not strictly necessary. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to keep the big inner door open, if you have a screen or glass door. This will confirm to kids that you’re home and are taking trick-or-treaters.
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No, we are really not American enough yet to have the glass door. I’m very envious of the people whose intense psychological health allows them to have one.
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Outer screen doors (or convertible screen/glass) date from before homes had air conditioning. They remain highly useful because as homes settle on their foundation, because door frames will shift and produce air leaks. These leaks will impact your hating and air conditioning costs. These “screen doors” are pretty simple to install; I’ve done a few.
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Your porch light or whatever outdoor lights show the way to the front door need to be on. Lights off is the universal signal for “no candy here”, even if you have decorations.
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The lights!!! I have absolutely no idea! Thank you.
OK, why had nobody ever mentioned this to me before?
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It didn’t occur to me to mention that. Now that I’m dredging up my memories of trick-or-treating, whether they had turned off their lights was one of the determining factors when my group decided whether to knock on a door. Usually everyone in the neighborhood leaves the porch lights on at night, but on Halloween they leave them off if they don’t want to participate or when they run out of candy.
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Turn your lights on in your house and in the yard and decorate your doorstep. Jack o’ lanterns work. Be within earshot of the door. If you don’t have children in the neighborhood and it’s not known for having good candy, kids don’t generally bother. I don’t know how much car culture in your neighborhood affects how far kids will walk.
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We have crowds of kids here. But I had no idea about the porch light. This is big news to me.
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Porch light on and/or lit Jack o’ lanterns are the signal. You might also want to ask your neighbors how many kids typically come by. The number tends to vary quite a bit by neighborhood and you want to make sure that you have enough candy.
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So are the pumpkins strictly necessary or optional? I don’t have anything against pumpkins or anything, I’m just curious.
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Pumpkins are optional. Growing up, we never once had them, and we also didn’t decorate (my parents are immigrants, too). We did, however, keep the porch light on and always had trick or treaters! If you don’t want to deal with opening the door, it is also acceptable to leave a bowl of candy outside with a sign encouraging trick or treaters to help themselves.
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Porch light on — candy. Dark house — go away. Once the lights are on, try not to run out of candy!
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When I ran out of candy, I can just turn off the porch lights and hide, right?
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Hiding is key. Also turning off not just the porch lights but all lights that can be seen from the street. (You must have at least one room to hole up in that faces the back, no?)
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This is very big house. 🙂 Plus, we have a basement. And a tornado room. 🙂
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Then you’re all set! Happy treating!
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Maybe we should start practicing immediately. 🙂
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By all means. Practice makes perfect!
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Or else you and N. can have fun in the dark.
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I like the way you think. 🙂
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😀
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Wish I had done some research on Halloween the first year I came to the US. I didn’t know anything about it and didn’t bother to buy any candy. I also had this habit of leaving the door open (yes, ajar) at all times. Ah, on-campus housing!
I have disappointed a lot of people in my life but nothing has made me feel worse than telling a bunch of children that I didn’t have any candy for them. They’d say ‘It’s ok’, and try to make me feel better, which would never work, obviously. God, that memory haunts me to this day.
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The reason why we don’t leave the door open is that insects here are of the size of birds in my country. Let me post a photo of one in a moment and you will see. They are like these huge animals and I’m an insectophobe.
“I have disappointed a lot of people in my life but nothing has made me feel worse than telling a bunch of children that I didn’t have any candy for them. They’d say ‘It’s ok’, and try to make me feel better, which would never work, obviously. God, that memory haunts me to this day.”
– I know, I’d rather just hide than feel like a Grinch who stole Halloween.
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Thing is if the kids sneered at me or made fun of me, I would’ve gotten over it in a hurry. But no, just my luck, these happened to me the most polite, well-behaved kids in the history of mankind. ‘It’s ok, don’t worry about it’.
NO IT’S NOT OK, I’M A HEARTLESS BASTARD WHO DESERVES THE DEATH PENALTY FOR THIS!! CAN’T YOU SEE????
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Thank you for making me smile, my friend. I appreciate. 🙂
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Why don’t you just cut to the chase and put up a sign in your yard saying, “FREE CANDY!”
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Oh, the one other thing you should keep in mind – if your neighborhood has a lot of little kids (under 10-12), often they will be out a bit earlier. In my neighborhood, the trick or treating started around 4:30 or 5pm, well before it got dark, and went until about 8. Of course, I’m from a completely different part of the country. Maybe ask your neighbors when the usual hours are. Have fun! 🙂
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This is very important! I had no idea I had to be ready so early. Thank you for mentioning this.
Now: what kind of candy is considered acceptable? This is an affluent suburb (by my standards.)
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Generally I buy a couple of variety packs of small packages of candy from the drug store. Around this time of year they have lots of such things. I usually try to buy one that is chocolate themed, and on that is not chocolate themed. Some kids have allergies, so having something that wasn’t processed on the same plant as other nuts is important. Never give out anything that is hand made or not in individual wrappers – we (kids) are trained from an early age to never take anything that isn’t in a wrapper, because it might be dangerous. Don’t bother getting tons of big candy bars – these kids are going to be getting tons of free candy, they don’t need anything huge. It’s more of a fun thing. Also, if I get bigger bags of mixed goodies, sometimes I tell the kids they can take 2 or 3. They like the chance to have a choice of the variety.
Also, I live in a university graduate/family apartment complex, so I usually put a sign on my door that says “trick or treaters welcome” and has a pumpkin and a black cat on it. This way kids know they can knock on my door. I don’t have a porch light I can control.
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Buy stuff you or your man likes eating. That way you will enjoy whatever isn’t given out.
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This is another social phenomenon peculiar to the trick or treating population with a nod to associated parents. I suppose if you mounted a gigantic video display touting your halloween bounty, you might get a very positive response this year. However, if your handout is found wanting, it will be the halloween equivalent of the scarlet letter (a scarlet pumpkin?). You will be pariah. The accompanying stamp could last for years. A key is to keep in mind the kids’ mantra: “Trick or Treat”. They aren’t saying: “Trick or Healthy Stuff”. An indicator of how well you are being received can be found in the sincerity of the kid’s “Thank you.” I suppose it’s similar to reading the mood of a classroom.
Some socially responsible people think giving out apples is a good idea — without, of course, foreign objects hidden within. Well, that’s not necessarily going to impress your clientele. An upgrade to candy apples might get a more positive response because they are more in the “treat” category — though they still contain “good stuff” and require refrigeration. Continuing my thematic thread, Blow Pop Sour Apple candy (apple flavored lollipops with a bubblicious center) might get a seriously good response meaning that you should start stocking up early for next year. If you want to enlist parents on your side and ensure that your home is a must stop for years to come, slip in a share of Apple stock.
Keep in mind that when kids get back home, they sort through and rate their booty. AND they remember who gave what. My kids would end up with three distinct groups. Highest rated: Hide from dad. Middle rated: Keep in the “bag” and good for trading. Low rated: Here Sue (younger sibling). You can have these. Understanding the halloween phenomenon would be much easier if there were more than one per year. There is no opportunity for practice. Kids don’t give adults second chances.
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Wow, this is extremely helpful! Any other kinds of candy that kids will be guaranteed to appreciate?
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Remember what I said about stuff in wrappers… if someone in my neighborhood gave out candied apples, none of us would have been allowed near their house, nor would we be allowed to eat the apples if we did get them. It would make that house a big “no no” for a long time (my neighborhood was very close, but if you screwed up something like this, you wouldn’t be included in neighborhood functions for a while, because you would be perceived as a threat to kids.) That’s not saying that candied apples aren’t awesome, they’re just not a good “trick-or-treat” treat, because they don’t come pre-wrapped. Of course, my neighborhood is not your neighborhood. But I would be careful with something like that your first year – none of the parents know you yet. No homemade treats. Or if you *do* have homemade treats, make sure you also have store-bought stuff.
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This is the most eye-opening thread ever. I would have made mistakes had I not known this, so THANK YOU!!!!!!
OK, to recap:
– no stuff without wrappers,
– nothing home-made,
– porch lights on.
If you think of anything else I need to know, please share!
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I forgot about the “candy must be wrapped” stipulation. When I was small, I never ate the candy until my parents checked it. Apparently someone put razor blades in a candied apple once. Nobody gives out candied apples or homemade treats. You should be able to find bags of fun size chocolate bars at any drug store or Walmart.
Halloween Safety Tips
Now, I grew up before cell phones were ubiquituous, so I didn’t check in.
If for some reason either you or N have to get in a car that evening drive very carefully.
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I’ve been wondering if those Walmart packages were good. Thank you!
Now, one more thing, and I’m sorry for being so needy. Should N and I wear costumes? Should we say something like “Boo!” when we open the door?
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Att. is an American Dental Assn. list of recommendations with “Tips for a MouthHealthy Halloween”. This list is compiled for rational people. When it comes to halloween, kids aren’t rational. So, I’m also att. a list of the 10 worst candies for kids from Fox News. I’m sure Walmart would stock a number of these. http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2013/10/28/10-worst-candies-to-get-on-halloween/ (There are quite a few other lists with different “worst” candies. But since Fox says it always tells the truth, it must be the most accurate.) Note: They don’t all have wrappers. #2. Circus Peanuts: Those are truly disgusting. (On the other hand for some, sans-wrapper candy corn is an annual must.) #’s 6 and 7 involve wax. The lips have (or had) some really sickeningly sweet flavoring. But you still always ended up with a mouthful of wax. #7 has a sickeningly sweet liquid inside the wax bottle. But you always end up with a mouthful of wax. I think I still have some stuck in my teeth from those bygone days. (I thought they had legislated against the wax creations about 50 years ago. So, these must be left overs which every halloween they try to sell anew.)
In short (about time for that) if you want to be an endearingly popular fixture on the annual circuit, go for lots of sugar in wrappers. If you want to be socially responsible and cautiously admired by mature adults, try little boxes of raisins. Raisins have sugar. Raisins are healthy. But kids don’t dream about raisins before halloween.
Like many things in life your choice of treats has concomitant dangers. Metaphorically, it’s a veritable minefield.
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You are the best, seriously. I can’t tell you how much I’m living this comment. 🙂 I promise to share how it goes.
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I forgot. Costumes on the givers isn’t required or expected in any way. BUT I think some really realistic “Walking Dead” costuming would certainly elevate you and N to “Instant Legend” status. I’m not sure if the subcategory would be for “Famous” or “Infamous”. Parents might not appreciate the topical humor when they see their kids screaming in terror as they flee from your door. You could always respond: “But isn’t that what halloween is all about?”
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