Do you sometimes feel a profound, almost painful reluctance to do something you really must do?
I experience this feeling regularly and I always give in to it. I have never once managed (or even really tried) to fight it. And every time it turns out that giving in to the reluctance was the right call.
Recently, there was a big deadline for a document that everybody was writing for their department. And I just… really didn’t feel like doing it. So I reread an old Ruth Rendell mystery and then made sensationally tasty tefteli. And get this, 16 hours before the deadline we were told that the data we’d been given were all wrong, and we needed to throw it all out and start anew with different data and a new deadline.
I still felt great reluctance and did other things. Worked on a translation, decorated my planner, listened to a few philosophical videos from Arestovich. Two days before the new deadline. . . yes, you guessed it. We were regretfully informed that the new data were also wrong and now we had to wait for the correct and supposedly final data. I’m now well-rested and don’t feel as much reluctance, so I’m not averse to doing the document eventually. I don’t want to imagine the feelings of the people who have now done this excruciating work twice for absolutely no gain. I’m planning to steer clear of them at work so they can’t share their resentment.
It’s been like this my whole life. If I felt like I really needed to miss class as a student, it always turned out that the class was cancelled or interrupted by a fire alarm or something like this. As somebody said, intuition is a shortened leap of cognition. If you really don’t want to do something, maybe it’s a sign that you are better off not doing it.