Difficult People

I have a colleague who sends me more emails in a week than the rest of the department put together does in the whole semester.

Do difficult people know they are difficult?

12 thoughts on “Difficult People

  1. I am pretty sure they do, at least on some level, but that doesn’t bother them enough to stop the difficult behavior. They are propelled by things like uncontrolled anxiety, or righteous indignation (feeling they have legitimate qualms whose addressing trumps any distress inflicted upon the recipient of their orneriness) often coupled with feelings of superiority (the one whom they’re bothering is somehow obligated to take their shit because they’re staff, woman, someone else they perceive lower on the totem pole), etc.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 9 emails so far today to express displeasure with how unprofessional, lazy and useless other people are.

      I swear to God, as I was writing this comment, daily email #10 hit my inbox. Right at this very moment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Do these emails require an action on your part or are they akin rants one should really keep to themselves? If the latter, I would suggest making a special email filter for this person’s email address and make them go to a folder dedicated to this person, never making it to your inbox. You can then just review them at your leisure (or not) as you see fit. (Full disclosure: I have done this before. I am also not serving in any administrative capacity.)

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    2. “I am pretty sure they do, at least on some level, but that doesn’t bother them enough”

      Since when are you such a cheerful optimist? My assumption is they know they’re difficult and they’re doing it on purpose, there’s some sort of payoff for them that the more reasonable among us (I’m including myself in that group for the sake of argument) don’t understand.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. LOL I love how Cliff (rightfully) asks, “That’s too optimistic of you; is everything OK?” 😀
        I had enough sleep for once; I think that might be the source of uncharacteristic cheerfulness! >D

        Seriously, I think most people (who aren’t psychopaths, I suppose) don’t view themselves negatively and instead go to great lengths to rationalize what’s objectively bad behavior as somehow just. Plenty of fiction villains would consider themselves not villainous but righteous and misunderstood. I bet this guy who’s wasting Clarissa’s time thinks he’s some sort of True Merit Recognition Warrior, fighting against everyone else’s suckitude.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think that mine has absolutely no idea. She announced she wants to run for Chair against me. This is ludicrous because people hate her. It’s going to be humiliating because she’ll get zero votes. And anyway, the Dean will never approve because his nervous system isn’t strong enough to deal with this person.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I was wondering what the deal was, with this unknown hyperactively mailing person, but now I see it’s political. All the emails to you are potentially part of the campaign against you. “I wrote to the Chair about these hundred-and-one issues, and she did nothing!” – that’s my intuition.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Definitely. This is a person who always plays the victim. Normally, she’s a victim because she’s a woman and an immigrant. But with me this doesn’t work because I’m also a woman and an immigrant.

            Liked by 2 people

  2. “Do difficult people know they are difficult?”
    Whether they do or they don’t, they couldn’t give a damn. If they’re pathologically difficult, they really enjoy it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “they really enjoy it.”

      That’s what i think. There are a few pathologically unaware people who simply go through life not thinking/seeing/hearing anyone’s concerns but their own and they can be massively annoying in their obliviousness…. but the really annoying people are getting a charge from it.

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