How to Avoid a Midlife Crisis
A consistently brilliant reader Musteryou uses the example of whiny woman-haters to explain how one can avoid a mid-life crisis:
I have a theory that one only really experiences a midlife crisis if one has not been living authentically. For instance, if you have been living according to an ideology that has promised obeying its rules will ultimately bear fruit, you might suddenly feel let down in mid-life when this doesn’t happen. That’s it not the fault of feminism, though, which (as Farrell’s quote also points out) allows women to actually make an authentic identity for themselves. The unmaking of men comes about because they have bought into all sorts of nonsense in the first place. “Stop allowing your life to be determined from the outside and instead develop an inner life of your own,” should be the advice given to whining males. Above all, stop trying to steal feminism’s inner light. If it’s not your own light, you’re just going to make everything so much worse for yourselves. Growing up means learning how to establish an identity on one’s own terms. Oprah cannot do it for you. Smashing feminism can’t do it for you. Sometimes it takes baby steps.
I have the same theory of a mid-life crisis. If you take care to figure out what it is YOU want your life to be like, you will experience no need for a crisis once middle age approaches. A mid-life crisis is a problem of those who dedicated their lives to living according to the pattern suggested to them by others. A consciously constructed existence that answers only to an internal mandate will not enter into a crisis.