Reader Shakti asks an important question about an alternative to the privilege discourse:
Interesting comments: but what words and what framing would you use?
Merely saying, “I get better treatment, in big and small ways, because of who I am” riles. Having somebody say to you, “You get better treatment, in big and small ways, because of who you are” riles. (I’m oversimplifying, obviously).
I believe that the moment we allow the conversation to enter the realm of personal and subjective experiences of who gets treated better or worse, we lose an opportunity for activism. Instead of uniting around our shared rejection of racism (sexism, xenophobia, etc.), we isolate ourselves in the lonely recounting of how we experience our individual identity labels.
I have witnessed a multitude of privilege discussions, and they always end up alienating and antagonizing good, progressive people who could be working together to promote change. Here, for instance, is an example of the privilege discourse needlessly souring the relationship between friends and allies.
Instead of trying to decide whose experiences are more painful – which is a losing proposition anyway – it would make more sense to acknowledge that all of these experiences come from the same unacceptable reality we need to change. And we will only manage to change it if we work together.