After I gave birth to Klara, I had this weird feeling that I had forgotten how to eat and sleep and that I’d never learn again.

On the third day, the nurse said she was taking Klara away for a car seat test and that she’d keep her at the nursery for a couple of hours to give me a chance to sleep.

So she took her away, and I crashed onto the bed, thinking “Yippee! Finally, I can conk out. Sweet dreams, here I come!!!”

I was almost asleep when suddenly a wave of the most horrible, howling anxiety grabbed me and dragged me off the bed. It was the bonding hormones that decided to come in at that time because, of course, they couldn’t have possibly waited until I actually slept.

So I crawled out of the room with my IV, my drug bag, and my ass hanging out in the air in the mesh panties for all the world to see. I saw my disheveled, swollen, half-naked reflection in the mirror and thought, “God, there sure are some ugly old hags trawling these halls at 3 am.”

A nurse caught me and tried to stuff me back into my room but I warded her off with my IV stand. “That’s my baby crying,” I vociferated. “I can hear her!”

“There’s a whole nursery full of babies,” the nurse said. “It can be any one of them.”

I was right, though. It was my Klara screaming. I found her and dragged her back to the room.

Since then, I unfortunately found out that I know how to eat better than ever.

It’s Klara’s birthday! We went to the pediatric dentist, which does seem like a weird birthday activity but it had to be done, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Then we had lunch at Panera to celebrate. After Klara’s nap, we are going to the kids’ gym.

I read so much about tofu that I got scared of it, so I ended up making tofu and French lentil soup. I wanted to try something completely outrageous and almost made pelmeni and tofu soup but I’m not allowed to have pelmeni right now, unfortunately.

It’s incredible that it’s been two whole years and Klara already visits dentists and eats tofu and lentil soup.

Do you, folks, know that US air force killed 100 Russian troops in Syria the other day? Is it being reported here? These are literally the same troops that fought in Ukraine and the were transferred to Syria when it became clear that the war in Ukraine wasn’t winnable for Russia. They are elite special forces. Or were, I guess. The name of the group is ChVK Wagner.