“The End”

So you know how I have to go to the hospital for testing twice a week, right? I get to lie in bed with monitors attached to my belly to measure fetal heart rate and my contractions and with a blood pressure reader on my arm. A machine I’m attached to prints out the fetal cardiogram.

Suddenly, the machine started making the kind of scary beeping noises and flashes that on TV shows are usually followed by “Code blue! Code blue! The patient is flat-lining!” The printout from the machine stopped creating a cardiogram and, instead, spelled out in big letters:

The End

Final

Ende

Finale

It took me a few minutes to realize that the machine was not announcing the end of me but, rather, the end of the paper roll it used to create the cardiogram.

“Wow, you had this strange spike in blood pressure as you were lying here,” the nurse commented later. “I wonder what could have caused it.”

18 responses to ““The End””

  1. Tim Avatar

    This is awesome 😀

    We have a siren at work that announces lunch breaks and such. It sounds like a fucking air raid alarm. First time you hear this, you might actually think that the russians are coming.

    Like

  2. Fie Upon This Quiet Life Avatar
    Fie Upon This Quiet Life

    Omg this scared me, and I have no stake in any of this! Glad you and Eric are ok!!

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Sorry, I didn’t mean to stress everybody out! 🙂

      Like

  3. Benoni Avatar
    Benoni

    Your life, thankfully, is not a surrealist horror film. 😛

    Like

  4. Liese Avatar
    Liese

    What’s really awful is when you are in labor and (if they have to) attach the wire that screws into the baby’s head to monitor things and suddenly everything goes quiet. It usually means that the wire has come out of the head, not that there is anything wrong with the baby, but it can be unnerving!

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      OK, thank you, it’s good to be forewarned!

      Like

  5. kelly Avatar
    kelly

    off topic. CNN is showing Michelle Knight in Courtroom in Cleveland. She is to testify in Monster castro’s ordeal.

    Like

  6. kelly Avatar
    kelly

    The monster used to go church every sunday and in coming back he abused the 3 girls. What a monster. He deserves the death penalty in front of everybody. What ahateful, disgusting monster !.

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I especially dig it how some people say we need to hear his side of the story. Like there can be a side to such a monster’s story that is worth hearing.

      Like

      1. hkatz Avatar

        “I especially dig it how some people say we need to hear his side of the story.”

        Some people say even worse… Amanda Berry, one of his victims, went to a concert last week with some friends and family and looked like she was having a good time. So some idiots online began to comment on how she doesn’t look like a “real victim.”

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

          It’s incredible that such jerkwads even exist. 😦 😦

          Like

  7. kelly Avatar
    kelly

    Exactly. And everybody in court is making mistakes by calling him Mister Castro. He is no Mister. He is Monster castro, a disgusting fat, ugly monster. He says, he is no Moster, he is sick. OK well. He is the most digusting fattest, ugliest sickest Monster.

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I hope nobody buys this excuse that he is sick. Sick people go to doctors. He chose to victimize innocent people.

      Like

  8. E (The Third Glance) Avatar

    I am a horrible person because this made me laugh and laugh and laugh some more. Especially the nurse’s comment at the end. Thank you for sharing, and glad everybody is ok. 🙂

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      No, yours is the reaction I was trying to elicit. This is supposed to be a funny story. I find that fellow autistics are the best at appreciating my humor. 🙂

      Like

      1. E (The Third Glance) Avatar

        In that case, I will not be ashamed of the tears in my eyes from laughing. Thank you for that! 🙂

        Like

  9. David Bellamy Avatar

    Did you clarify to the nurse the likely reason why your blood pressure had spiked?

    Like

    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Yes, of course. 🙂 🙂

      Like

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A conservative literary critic and college professor