There’s absolutely nobody fussier and more obnoxious at a restaurant than people who unironically call themselves communists. It seems that digestive issues directly correlate with being a clueless poseur.

What happened to García Martínez is about one thing and one thing only: a powerful global corporation is schooling its workforce into complete, terrified obedience. Not only can you be fired at any moment, but you can be crushed. Eviscerated. Unpersonned.

Silly people keep wondering why these powerful companies are doing the bidding of leftist rage mobs. But it’s the other way round. The leftist mobs create terror to assist global conglomerates in keeping the workforce in line.

“Even the richest companies in the world are terrified of these leftist goons.” What are you, stupid? The goons are the assault troops of the companies, you simpleton.

I stayed up yesterday looking at beautiful photos of nature in the Twitter feed of one of my favorite accounts. Then today I discover that he’s been fired from his great new job because several years ago he said that rich Bay Area women are cosseted and whiny.

Anybody who comes over to comment on how García Martínez will find another great job will be banned for being a total idiot. I’m not fretting about García Martínez, who absolutely will be fine. I’m fretting about all of us. We all are the victims here. It’s the neoliberal mentality that has infected your mind that makes you see everything in terms of isolated individuals who exist in a vacuum.

Should I read Frankenstein?

How about Color Purple?

These are book club selections but I can’t muster any enthusiasm for them.

Wait. Dunkin Donuts no longer has the Donuts part?

What happened?? Who perpetrated this act of atrocity?

The world makes no sense anymore.

And what kind of ass-stupid name is “Dunkin'” anyway?

I had to interrupt what was a very busy workday to go to the bookstore and fish out the last remaining copy of Blake Bailey’s new biography of Philip Roth. First, it was almost cancelled because a bunch of officious idiots who confuse an author and his characters tried to #MeToo Roth. But Roth is dead, and it wasn’t that much fun to cancel a dead guy who had published a bunch of masterpieces on the evils of cancel culture.

So then the author of the biography was #MeTooed and cancelled. The book is being pulled out of print and the copies that were going to drop this month will not be sold. Because, apparently, readers can’t decide for themselves if they are put off reading by the personal lives of the author and his subject. I wonder, is Pushkin still sold? Because that guy’s private life. . . major eek.

The withdrawal of the book punishes the readers (and the wimpy publisher) for absolutely no reason. I don’t think anybody can make Bailey return his advance post-publication. Of course, this is his last book and he’s been completely destroyed but why is it necessary to prevent a bunch of literary nerds from geeking out on a 800-page biography of a writer? Where’s the damage in reading it? Why are the books of Michel Foucault, who actually raped boys, not pulled off the shelves?

It’s curious how people get #MeTooed right when they are about to experience some major career success. Must be a total coincidence.

In any case, I found the last copy at the bookstore and triumphantly dragged it away. Seriously, it’s the geekiest, most unobjectionable read I can think of. And it gets cancelled without anybody claiming that it has a single offensive word. This truly topped even the Dr Seuss cancellation.

We are two steps away from books being burned because the author liked the wrong tweet.